There are
two milestones in a toddler parent’s life – toilet training and playschool.
Looks like
Indian parents conquer these concepts fairly quickly, for I have heard of tales
where the first process began by the seventh month and succeeded at age one when the child could do his one and two, as well as any other numbers in the
family toilet. Oh and schooling? That begins when a child has perfected his
walk and has begun to run.
Holland is
more relaxed. Toilet training and play school start along with each other - at
two and a half. If you are once an Indian, you are always one. And I am no
different. Education is paramount. So is social behavior. Thus, I decided to
overtake the Dutch parents and enrolled my daughter as soon as she turned two.
Dressed in our
best, we trooped into the playroom along with other parents and midgets. My daughter
was the new kid on the block, quite literally. As a cheery Dutch rhyme played,
we were asked to seat our child and walk away. I did, trying to hide the copious
tears that were blinding me. In fifteen
minutes, the caretaker brought the darling daughter, howling and wailing. Little
did I know that this would become my routine for the next several weeks. In the
beginning I cried, for I couldn’t bear to leave her alone in a room full of
strangers. And then I cried, for I couldn’t bear her holding on to me, round
the clock.
And this
became our pattern. To wake up, dress up, show up, tear up and then throw up.
No number of toys or children or even bribes seemed to change her mind. At the
start of the familiar music at 9 am, all children waved goodbye to their mums
and sat in the tiny chairs with shiny eyes. For mine, the soothing music rang
alarm bells and she would try to wrestle her way out of the grasp of Corina - the
caretaker/teacher. Her “Amma edi!?(where is Mama?)” seemed to be modelled very much like
“I am Groot”. She said that in several tones – panic, fright, anger and helplessness.
So much that even the very Dutch Corina began to understand Telugu, our mother tongue.
We had to
finally give in and accept that her will was too strong. After a happy break (happy
for her) of over six months, I began the process all over again (sigh). But
this time it was different. Thanks to rigorous study of Peppa pig, Ira could now
understand and speak English. Corina, also knew how to deal with her. And in
just about a month, she started to stay beyond her record of fifteen minutes. As
this time slowly started to increase, so did my hope for some time off and
alone. While the latter is still a challenge, Ira learnt to stay, obey and play.
While she
played at school, I also started to go to a Dutch one, right below her
classroom. And thus, we both began learning the language together, apart. It
has been 36 months and she is a transformed child (at least at school). She has
made best friends, has already had her share of quarrels and remains
enthusiastic about meeting more children. While we stayed home because of the
vicious virus, the time for goodbyes had come. She turned four and her teacher-
Corina wanted to give her a proper send off. So, it was one last special day at
school for her, before we stayed home again.
As I write
about my experiences and perspectives in Holland, I see how much of a part
Corina has played so far. She is the classic example of the appearances being
deceptive saying. She looks strict, acts strict – also with parents, dresses
only in black like Ursula of Little Mermaid but in reality is a dear. No amount
of praising or thanking would really do her justice , but I would like to
express my gratitude for her and others like her who take on the difficult job
of training toddlers, thereby giving parents (read mothers) a much needed
break.
Meanwhile,
Ira is looking forward to going to ‘big school’. And come September, this
little tornado is going to hit the primary school!
PS: Toilet
training? Wait until the next post! 😊
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